Life after The catcher in the rye.

Dear diary,

For years my parents have thought I'm crazy, you've witnessed it yourself, they've sat me down so, and told me more than once. I've been in and out of doctors offices and I've heard it all " you have a high case of anxiety disorder, don't worry with our help you will be better in no time'' and the most recent "you have a bipolar disorder"
To this day I feel normal, yet one thing I have learned from all those useless doctors is that you can never disagree or they will never let you of their leash. see this doesn't work for me.
I can honestly say I am tired of hearing " the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem." at first I refused, I had no problem just a mild depression, but seeing this wouldn't get me anywhere near my freedom, I played along and admitted to their every theory regarding my mental illness but I was never able to conquer my freedom. as much as I deserved it.
After all the crap they made me go through I'm still here, and for one damn time I'd like to see myself without these medications they've shoved down my throat, I'd like to go back to being myself, for now you can no longer call me Holden Caulfield , but what you can call me is risperidone, zopiclone, lithium, or carbamazapine, nothing else. The carbamazapine was to help me stabilize my moods, the zopiclone was for my rare insomnia, the lithium was to treat my manic episodes and last but not least the risperridone was to treat my bipolar disorder, but I think it's all an excuse to get rid of me. My parents i mean.
These medicines took over and they didn't work, not for me at least.
After the never ending roller coaster I went through their theory's became something I could no longer control easily, or that I could play along with, remember when i sayd i could lie and you would never know? they never found out either, but i still wasn't able to leave.Their theory would included me in a mental health ward for a full 6 weeks, but my theory was otherwise, perhaps alone watching films all day, free of all things I've been claimed to be.
From my expulsion from Pencey Prep to today much hasn't changed, just that my parents have had more than enough of me, I've had enough of myself as well, but I'm not willing to change, just not yet. They had given me one alternative, to go to the mental health ward, and i went, now I'm thinking it wasn't such a good idea, i guess.


Reflection-
For this piece i wanted to write about Holden after he ends the book, which we don't know what happened so i used what i thought was going to happen or what was happening after and put it into Holden's perspective, My first draft i didn't something completely different and it didn't connect with what we did in class, so i remember we had done the journal entry's with Ms. Cya, and continued on to write.